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Dating with VERY young kids?
Main Post:
Hi Everyone, I am by no means ready to start dating yet (divorce is about to begin) and I will be starting individual therapy soon, but I have a crushing sadness and fear that no one will want to date a Mom with two VERY young kids (one is not even one yet so I imagine they would be like 2-3 years old when I am “ready”). Has anyone else navigated this or have some feedback about what this would be like or should I plan to be single for the next 5-10 years? I am not quite 40 yet but in a weird age bracket to be eventually dating with young ones.
Top Comment:
With respect - solve tomorrow’s problems tomorrow
You are not ready to date, and you just started your divorce. Focus on what’s happening today.
Yes, you can date with young kids, with old kids, or with no kids. It’s all possible, and I’m only saying that to hopefully allow you to breathe in, accept that dating can happen, and then shove this problem to the bottom of that stack of papers.
Dating a girl with a kid and having anxiety, this normal?
Main Post:
So I just started dating a girl about 2 months ago. She's got a kid, a 2.5yr old. I love her but the thought of raising another mans child is scaring the shit outta me. The thought of this kid being a constant part of my life scares me. I don't know. I've been having severe anxiety for a couple weeks now and I can't put my finger on where it's coming from. Men who have been in my shoes, how did you deal with getting into a relationship with a female who already has a kid?
Top Comment:
If you're not ready to be a stand-in father in the long term then you should bail.
Why do people think that women who has a kid is a red flag?
Main Post:
Why do men think that women who has a kid is a red flag? Like is it my fault that my ex cheated on me and left and Im actually happy i never married him? Shouldnt men acknowledge the fact that we single moms are emotionally strong for raising a child on our own?? I feel like I'll always be single for the rest of my life.. Im 27 F for context. And no, the father is NOT in the picture. and doesnt give any financial support at all. I mean, tbh, that's a green flag for me! you know we are mentally and emotionally strong with good financial habits??
edit: changed title from men to people because of title rules
Additional info:
its easier to judge a single mom who has a kid vs a single dad who has a kid.
Example:
Single mom - What did she do wrong for the father to leave her?! She must have problems so i need to stay away!
Single dad - Awwwwe!!! that's so sweet of him to take the responsibility of taking care of his OWN child. He's an angel!!! He must be sensitive and romantic in real life!!! The Mother must be dead- only logical reason why he's a single parent!!!!
it sucks but it's the reality.
Top Comment:
There's a lot to unpack here:
- people don't want to have (be in close proximity to) kids before they're married, and even a few years into marriage
- people don't want to deal with the baby daddy being in the picture
- people don't want to deal with a date being interrupted because the kid has an emergency you need to tend to
- this one's a big one: people don't want to get attached to the kid and have their own feelings hurt if the relationship with mommy doesn't work out. They don't want to miss a kid that isn't theirs.
- likewise: they don't want to hurt the innocent feelings of a child if they break up with mommy after 6 months
- they don't want to plan around the kid's schedule. Can't just whisk mommy away for a romantic weekend getaway without the kid coming along too.
Nothing wrong with people not wanting kids in their life, even when it's just through close proximity of the woman they're dating.
What's it like dating a "pastor's kid"?
Main Post: What's it like dating a "pastor's kid"?
Top Comment: I've dated two... I know. I am in NO way generalizing. The first one wouldn't want to listen to 'worldly music'. On one date some Lorde's song came on and he quickly switched radio stations saying he couldn't really listen to that kind of music. He didn't like me listening to any of the bands I like (non christian music) and would passive aggressively scold me about it. He had a lot of pressure on him to be the perfect christian boy his dad and the entire church wanted him to be (from his perspective). Little by little we realized I was too liberal for him and he was a little to uptight. He went back to his ex who's like his other shadow and does everything he says. The other one was super cool. We were were compatible, liked the same music, shared ambitions and he was generally down to earth. Didn't work out because of other reasons. We actually still talk.
Reddit - The heart of the internet
Main Post: Reddit - The heart of the internet
Redditors in your 20s, what's your opinion on dating someone with kid(s)?
Main Post: Redditors in your 20s, what's your opinion on dating someone with kid(s)?
Top Comment:
Would never do it. I love my child free life.
the idiot my kid is dating
Main Post: the idiot my kid is dating
Top Comment:
I'm sorry. I meant to type this initially. But here goes... In an attempt to do things different from my upbringing, I feel like my kid is taking advantage. I'm too honest and open, I guess. I am honest with my kids about how I realized I needed to reparent myself and that they will need to do the same. I was unhealed and psychologically unhealthy when I got married and had kids. So as not to make that their issues and problems...I give them a ton of latitude.
THAT has been taken advantage of. My second oldest kid is dating this person they met online. This person has a dangerous amount of sway over my child. It's giving very much grooming and brainwashing.
I tried to tell them that, but my pleas fell on deaf ears.
I've talked to the police, members of cyber security communities, hell...I even talked to a Navy SEAL that does data/Intel collection. I've tried to talk to my child about seeing a therapist. I don't want to force it, but I'm just done.
I'm just ranting. Thank you for your time.
Am I the only one that thinks putting photos of children on your profile is weird?
Main Post:
If you have kids, I think it’s weird to be showing them (if they are minors) on a platform mainly meant for building romantic connections. Like nothing against people who have kids, but you can easily put that in your profile without showing their faces.
If they’re your nieces/nephews/younger siblings/friend’s kids, that’s even worse. Now you’re putting someone else’s kid online for dozens and dozens of random strangers to see them. Most parents usually post their own children on private social media or on social media that they only have close friends and family on, I doubt they’d want their child being seen by a bunch of strangers. And there could be so many creeps on Bumble.
Baby photos of yourself is a bit odd to me too. I’m just not exactly sure what people expect to gain from that. Like, if I’m looking through a guy’s profile, a baby photo isn’t going to make me inclined to swipe right. Like okay, you were a cute baby but you were also a baby. I don’t feel any attraction to infants and children so, I’m just not sure how to feel about that. I think that’s more of something to post on Facebook, not your dating profile. But, I digress.
Top Comment:
Yeah, I just don’t like minors being posted on platforms meant for adults. You never know who could be looking at your children